The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
