I heard we made out
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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