Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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