I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
