wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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