I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
