I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
