Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
