If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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