Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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