My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize