yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
