I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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