nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
