D3 body, D1 cock
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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