it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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