..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
