At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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