Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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