PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize