Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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