Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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