I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
