I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
