Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
