i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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