She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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