have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
