the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
