He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
