who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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