whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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