i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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