i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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