Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
