Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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