I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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