Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
