I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
