You made me cry and you don't even care
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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