No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
