I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Everything about him screamed your future.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
