When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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