i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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