i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
