I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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