Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
