I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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