I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
