do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
