Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
