Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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