As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
