i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
