Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
