I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
