I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize