he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
