right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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