um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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