i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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