I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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