he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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