In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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