Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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