two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
