left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
