I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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