We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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