that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize